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The Catalog

Things men need that don't exist

Fictional products for very real problems. Every one comes with the real version: something you can do today that gets you the same result.

A brass mailbox with an oxblood door holding handwritten letters
No. 01Fictional

The Unsent Box

A mailbox for letters you'll never send: to your father, your ex, your younger self. It holds them so you don't have to.

The real version

Write the letter anyway. Writing it is what helps.

A brass wristwatch with an oxblood strap and a countdown ring on its dial
No. 02Fictional

The Two-Minute Warning

A watch that buzzes two minutes before you say something in anger you can't take back.

The real version

When you feel it rising, leave the room for two minutes.

An elegant brass and black earpiece resting on an oxblood leather pad
No. 03Fictional

The Second Sentence

An earpiece that, right after you say "I'm fine," quietly prompts the second sentence. The true one.

The real version

Next time a friend asks how you are, give him the second sentence.

A machined brass dial set into the walnut dashboard of a classic car
No. 04Fictional

The Pride Dimmer

A dial on the dashboard that turns pride down just far enough to ask for directions. Or for help.

The real version

Ask one person for help with one thing this week.

A brass rotary telephone on a wooden workbench in a garage
No. 05Fictional

The Bench That Calls

A workbench that rings your oldest friend after you've been out in the garage alone for three hours.

The real version

Call him yourself. He's waiting for you to go first.

A brass switch on a walnut panel beside a lamplit bed
No. 06Fictional

The 3 a.m. Off Switch

For the thoughts that only show up when the house is dark and everyone else is asleep.

The real version

If they keep coming back, tell someone in daylight.

Every dollar beyond running costs goes to men's mental health.